that depends on

Personal Limits

Sometimes I wonder why I make the decisions I make under pressure or faced with certain behaviour. In some cases I can explain what, why and how a situation or certain behaviour is enough for me to say “no.” There are also cases where I cannot explain what, why and how. Recently I had to say “no” as I had to choose for myself first. Personal limits had been reached.

Now ¬†when I write “I had to choose for myself first” and that might seem selfish. It is only selfish when you desire to be altruistic first which leads to the scale of double standards in the human psyche. When you are selfish you prioritise your own interests first and when you are altruistic first you prioritise the interests of others first. Which of these you prioritise determines your personal limits.

Between selfishness and altruism there is a zone of paradoxes and dilemmas that turn simple “yes” and “no” in “maybe” or “that depends on…” Then the personal limits change from defined to vague in the realm of double standards.

Hypothetical Examples

Enforce rules in a situation for others but allow exceptions for loved ones.

You value human rights while not valuing certain people as equals.

For the law each citizen is equal yet society is hierarchical.

Sometimes identical behaviour is condemned when harmful but allowed when harmless.

When growing up as a kid I developed an interest in philosophy and humanism. These two topics alone kept me busy for years and still do. They shaped my thinking and perception, still do but I cannot define them as that leads to doing what Bertrand Russell did. This post is not to become a book. Thinking about and rethinking situations and decisions has helped me to formulate my own personal limits.

Some people prioritise relationships, status, merits and behaviour among others. All people have their own reasons and stories to explain when they have had enough. Factor in introverts versus extroverts, expressive versus non-expressive and neutral versus emotional in human interaction. Personal limits are surprisingly complex when you ask questions and look into what connects context A with “yes” and context B with “no.”

This topic deserves more than a simple blog post. Tonight though I keep it short.

Recently I had to say “no.” I can move on again…